Round and round we go
by marshuu
Summary: This fanfic is suppose to be about college AUs, but when does that really happen? In short, Eren's got a fucked up ex problem and Levi is unfortunate enough to get swept up in the star's personal life, being his hot skeptical college roommate and all. [ErenxLevi] Rated for language and future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**i got inspired and decided to test out my AU skills shot**

**its literally 3 am lol what am i doing awake**

**ive never been to college, but ive read a lot on it (dont ask im a boring person) so ill try my best to be realistic c:**

**sorry in advance for any mistakes im kinda a lazy person and dont edit you can kill me its ok**

**look children, cliche! sobs you'll understand around the second chapter... coughs**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: <strong>

**_Roommates_**

_I really hated this society. 'Oh look! Let's make these poor kids go to school at the age of fucking five and not release them until their lives as young vibrant kids is over and then make 'em work until they die!' Real fucking smart economy. _The bitter thoughts just didn't have a halt, and flowed with ease through Eren's mind. The summer had sped past so quickly it'd put sonic to shame. The oh-so-wonderful thought of college just made Eren so jittery with a special happiness that motivated you to do something rash, like flip off an old lady, or kick a puppy.

Mikasa had dragged him after her to a expensive private college- er... _academy._ _A world of stuck up punks, oh joy. _Eren kept his negative thoughts inside, trying to see the better. He gratefully thanked his sister for giving him such a rare opportunity, and skipped happily off into a comical double rainbow backdrop, of sparkles and mystical wonders... Only to find it was the stained steel doors of his demise.

The upsides appeared rare, and Eren treasured them dearly, as if they were to slip away, Eren would die. And he probably literally would. Armin, followed by Eren's party of weirdos-or as they called it: mentally fabulous, following after. Mikasa had moved away to Europe to study architecture, and Eren didn't bother trying to understand. They'd grown apart so much, Eren found himself letting the weight of her absence lift from his shoulders rather quickly.

Eren's eyes trained on the slip of paper before him, giving him the advantage of his room number, floor, and wing of the school. _God damn rich schools. _He thought briskly, his chest colliding with a rather bony shoulder, followed by a harsh shove. His green eyes snapped up to a shorter male, he didn't take time to brew some tea and sit down with the fellow over a leisurely chat.

"Oi, watch where you're going, shitty brat." The guy said, quickly unlocking the cream colored door and turning the fancily decorated handle. He cursed under his breath, and Eren rolled his eyes, hip-checking the man aside and turning the door the opposite direction, it clicked open and he stared back at the shorty with mock interest.

"Shazam." Eren said lamely, wiggling his fingers as he backed away from the open door, acting as if he'd cast a magical enchantment on the door. The younger man rolled his eyes irritably, turning his back to Eren and stepping through the doorway to what Eren assumed was his new dorm. _What room is this? _205. His room.

_Oh helllll no. No fucking am I sharing a dorm with this short prick. _"Bravo, idiot." The dude spat, his hands wrapping around the door in motion to close it. "Hold up, I'm your roommate." Eren grumbled, the man hesitated, and Eren swore he saw the guy's eye twitch. "Oh, lovely." He purred, sarcasm laced his words like Victoria secret panties.

Shuffling into the apartment with his few bags, compared to this stranger's one, he felt like a girl that packed more makeup than skin she had on her frame. Stranger, who Eren decided upon calling the man until he created a proper nickname based off the man's birth, or current name, shut the door, scanning the room with Eren.

The walls were painted a soft, baby blue, a mahogany carved fan hung from the ceiling, a bowl like glass shape above the blades that spun was emanating enough light to bathe the room in an almost natural color. On either side of the room a rectangular shape had been cut out of the wall, a bed set in the cubby like area, and a long desk for two people sat at the base of the window, separated by a board which stood atop the desk, offering extra shelves and pockets to keep things. There was a small hallway across from the desks, that led to a bathroom and two closets, both equally respectably sized.

The place had been cleaned before the students' arrival, and Eren noted the man's pleasure to the sight of a clean room. They retreated the opposite sides of the room, unpacking in a matter of 10-20 minutes, neither speaking.

Footsteps thumped down the hall, and the door swung open, a blonde boy fled into the room, arms extended towards the brunette. "Eren~!" He wailed, wrapping his arms around the taller boy and clinging for dear life as if Satan's hands had erupted from the earth to drag him under by the ankles.

"Armin? What's wrong?" Eren asked, returning Armin's hug with a protective one, looking around for someone who could have caused the blonde discord. "I missed you! That's what!" The boy whined, pulling away to look at Eren's maturing face. His features were more defined now, his green eyes as beautiful as ever.

Eren grinned crookedly at Armin, following Armin's gaze to the quiet male watching them with dismay. "Who's this?" Armin asked, looking back at Eren, who's hands shot up in defense. "I don't know, I haven't had a chance to meet him." Eren grumbled, and Armin furrowed his brows at Eren.

"How _rude._" He huffed, bouncing over to the guy. "Hello, I'm Armin, a friend of this moron over here." He said enthusiastically, holding his hand out in proper manner. "Moron is the correct term for his behavior." Levi implied, ignoring Armin's extended hand. "I'm Levi." He said, looking past Armin at Eren who was staring at his phone, leaning against the wall above his bed.

"Hey Armin, Mikasa says her college dorm is as big as her room at home, isn't that weird?" He shifted his gaze back to Armin, trying to ignore the fact this Levi? was it? whatever, this _kid, _was staring at him.

Armin furrowed his brows, "jeesh, they must be a lot more profitable than us." He observed, and Eren nodded slowly, shifting his gaze from Armin to Levi, to Levi to Armin.

"Anyway, who's your roommate?" Eren asked, settling on Armin's cheery face. He grinned at Eren excitedly, and really didn't have to tell now, Eren knew who. "Annie." He said, and Eren smirked at his friend. Him and Annie had met over the summer, and to Armin's luck, she was going to the same college. They started dating, and really hit it off. Eren felt a sense of pride for his bud, he deserved a good person to be there when Eren couldn't, because he wouldn't always be.

"I'm going to go help unpack, bye Eren!" And like that, without proper think time and response, Armin had dashed off, leaving Levi and Eren in his wake. Eren mentally rolled his eyes, setting his phone on his bed and walking over to great his roommate properly.

"Sorry, I'm Eren, I think I heard your name was Levi?" He said, trying to at least be somewhat polite, which the man took to negatively. "Good job, you can hear, _Eren." _His name sounded rather nice in Levi's voice, though Eren thought nothing of it.

Shrugging away Levi's rudeness, he trudged over to his bed, planning to sleep all day so he could meet up with the others to go out. They were planning to party _all night. _With that reassuring thought, Eren closed the front door, snorting at the thought of that, and laid down. He disappeared under the sheets, becoming a lump in the white blankets, which he found surprisingly soft and warm.

Eren succumbed to the darkness, falling asleep faster than he had anticipated. Levi kept some sort of polite demeanor, keeping the noise level down so his roommate could sleep. He wasn't a complete douche.

_Roommates with a cute brat, I can see my fate being sealed already. _

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><p><strong>uhm ok it took me an hour to write this wtf its 4 am now<strong>

**i got kinda lazy because my brain started shutting off so i didnt get to the good part in this chapter, but please enjoy! vwv**

**comment if you can, it means sooo much to me!**


	2. Chapter 2

**omgggggg i apologize like a million and infinity times guys!**

**i kinda forgot about this story after i got writers block then school kinda shoved me into a whole whirl of projects and assessments and ughh**

**sorry for any mistakes or anything im kinda stupid and lazy so feel free to scream at me in the comments shot**

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><p>Over the past couple hours Levi had busied himself with re-organizing and sanitizing the bathroom, at least 5 times over. Eren's snoring and whining was so damn annoying, and Levi wished he'd just shut the hell up and sleep like a <em>normal <em>person. Not to mention the kid was a complete slob and drooled on his pillow. Levi tried to ignore it.

_Tried._

_"_Oi, brat. Wake the hell up and stop salivating all over everything." The shorter man growled, poking at the unconscious boy's cheeks and shaking his shoulders. He didn't budge.

"Hey! I'm speaking to you! Wake the fuck up, you dumbass!" Levi shouted, dragging the kid out of his warm bed. The body was basically dead weight, and hit the ground with a loud thunk.

Praise the lords and hallelujah. Eren groaned, slurring his words together. Levi guessed he was whining about falling off the bed, but he couldn't care less. "I'll say it one last tim-"

_I'm sexy and I know it~_

Eren's head shot up, looking at the cellular device playing some god-awful 21st century pop. He stumbled to his feet and looked at the text on the screen.

_Jean: "hrry up & get ready ass we'll be there in a lil bit."_

Eren grinned to himself, quickly texting the long-faced teenager in return.

_Eren: "kk. where r we going and do u know my room #?"_

Eren didn't wait for a response, he shuffled down the hall, using his phone as light in the spacey closet. Out of all the clothes he had strung around in there, he somehow pulled out a white low V neck shirt with tight black denim. He wore a stylish hoodie over the V neck, probably to detract attention before needed.

His hair was brushed out for the most part and he hid his embarrassing bed-hair in a grey beenie. Hair still poked out the sides but for the most part, he looked presentable at a fancy place.

_Jean: "no failed so many classes" _

_Eren: "wat? that made no sense learn how 2 type :p"_

_Jean: "ur no better!"_

Eren rolled his eyes, stuffing his phone in his back pocket. Levi had just been lingering around while he got ready, unsure really if he was suppose to play house-wife and send him off with a peck on the cheek and safe wishes.

Eren fidgeted while he waited, his eyes downcast at his phone, and someone was lingering in the doorway within 20 minutes of Eren's impatient waiting. He swung to door open, grinning like the idiot he was.

There was a tall kid with dark brown hair, and a shy smile; A shorter male with blonde hair that looked like a wig to Levi, and a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes. She was much shorter compared to the others, but still taller than Levi. She looked ready to fight the odds at any moment, and Levi was almost surprised there was someone else in the building with actual brains surviving in their thick skulls.

That wasn't all, there were several others too, lingering around and waiting. A brunette girl standing paired with a kid who had a buzz-cut. A tall built girl with freckles and darker skin, her arm wrapped around a small, petite blonde girl who's eyes reminded Levi's of the other blond.

There was a taller guy- _Jeesh what's with all these tall people? -_With freckles and an undercut like Levi's, he was snuggled against a boy a bit taller than him with different colored hair and that total heterosexual Mr. Cool smirk on his face, but he wasn't; obviously.

Eren greeted each by name, and frowned as he searched the crowd. "Where's Armin?" He asked, looking at Jean. Who shrugged, and looked at Marco, the freckled kid tucked at Jean's side. "He said he was getting the car, that's what I heard at least."

Eren smiled, and nodded, looking back at Levi who was standing in the room, watching them with a stoic expression. "Hey Levi," Eren's call startled him and he blinked, switching his steel gaze over to the boy. "Want to come with us?"

"Eren we don't have enough room-" "Sure we do, Jean. You're just scared of him." Eren sneered, grinning back at Levi. He frowned, crossing his arms over his chest.

Everyone's eyes were on him, some hopeful and welcoming, others placid, and mutual, like that one blonde girl.

"What do you say?"

_I cant believe I agreed to this, what is wrong with me. _Levi thought bitterly, he'd been aloud up front, apparently they owned a pick-up truck, and everyone sat in the back. Most of the back wall in the front of the truck was a window, like a mini hobbit door. It was quite unusual.

Levi had learned everyone's names, there was Annie, that blonde. Reiner, the built blonde guy. Bertolt was the tall brown-haired male, and the two girls were Ymir and Christa.

There was also Jean and Marco, and the driver was Armin, who he met before. He was the kid with a haircut that reminded Levi of He-man, an old cartoon from the 1900's.

Eren told them they were going to a popular bar where one of his friends worked. He'd let them have alcohol, and no one seemed to care. Everyone here was underage, didn't they know that?

Levi let it go and remained silent with his lips pressed in a thin line, listening to the group chat in the back, and the sounds of them moving around as they horsed around. He'd gotten mixed up with a group of law-breaking hooligans, and he was stuck with them _all night._

Levi hadn't noticed them park in a shady spot, the sun had set a while ago, and it was dark. The temperature had dropped drastically, and everyone was being quiet and sneaky. He fumbled around in the darkness after the lump of shadows ahead of him. He wondered why it was so hard to see. He could hear them whispering and laughing, god would they ever stop talking?

A shadow moved out of the corner of his eye, it was walking quietly in another direction, trying to slip past the others. He crept after it, the shadow was lean, but not super tall like the others, he was sure it wasn't Connie, he heard him laughing with Sasha in the crowd, so who could it be?

The shadow was taken in my the dark alley, and Levi found himself stumbling to find his way. There were dips and random objects in the path, causing Levi to stumble. He cursed himself, sure the figure knew he was following by now. Or he could be deaf, Levi hoped for the latter.

He jumped at the sound of laughter and talking, there was an older man and a woman dressed in horribly exposing clothing. They leaned against a stained wall under a shallow back-door light. The stench of smoke was heavy in the air, and their voices lined with slurs and dull speech; drunk off their asses.

The figure stepped into the light, a sly grin on his face. "So, Hannes, I'm doing that show tonight, right?" Eren? Why was he here? Levi stayed in the shadows, watching the scene play out.

"Aren't you a bi' youn' to be here?" The girl asked, leaning over Eren, his grin subsided to a polite smile. "Why yes, but you see, I'm _famous." Famous my ass. _Levi thought, watching the lady open and close her mouth before leaning her bare back to the wall again.

Eren looked to the blond older man, watching him with a skeptical gaze. "Yeah, I guess. Get your ass in there." The man grumbled, Eren stumbled up the steps, but paused, whispering something Levi couldn't hear, but he swore Eren glanced directly at him before giggling and disappearing through the grey steel doors.

He felt an uneasiness settle in the pit of his stomach, and panic begin to rise. He turned to leave when he felt a cold hand on his arm, he hesitated. _Don't turn around, don't turn around... _Disregarded thoughts left Levi face to face with a tall built man, and blackness.

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><p><strong>screaming and rolling on the floor<strong>

**I DIDNT GET TO THE GOOD PART BUT I FELT LIKE THIS WAS A GOOD END FOR THIS CHAPTER **

**UGGGGH**

**IM YELLING TIMBERRRR**


	3. Chapter 3

When Levi awoke, he was sitting on a plush couch, his muscles had relaxed into the nice fabric, and he found himself regretting sitting up. Pain surged through his head, a groan of pain escaping his lips. Cloth bandage had been half-ass-ly wrapped around his head, forcing his hair to stick out in weird angles.

"Fucking idiots." Levi muttered, readjusting the cloth to run under his hairline, not that he looked any more normal with white under the black strands of hair. The black stood out against the sterile white. Whoever had done this was a complete moron, he didn't need the bandages because his head didn't even bleed. What a waste.

A flash of green caused Levi's head to swim back to shore, he'd began drowning in his thoughts. His stoic expression remained, his steel eyes sweeping across the room. A familiar mop of messy chocolate hair caught Levi's attention. He could just barley catch their conversation.

"How about this, Eren?"

"No, it has to be light, but also intimidating. I'm not suppose to look like some emo in a candy shop."

Levi scowled at that remark. But his thoughts were overtaken with questions. _Where is he? What is Eren doing? How'd he get here? _

Levi continued to evaluate the scene, watching a boy with fuzzy blonde hair and long sideburns wrap a measuring tape around Eren's waist. He wrote something down before leaving the boy. A short, raven haired girl pranced back over, replacing the blonde boy, a white button-up blouse in her hands. She held it up to Eren's chest, nodding in approval before slipping off his current shirt to replace it with the blouse.

Eren stretched, seeing how the blouse hung loosely at his waist, but tucked nicely up his arms and wrapped around his wrists. It revealed his nice toned chest, and sharp collarbones. The collar was untucked, giving Eren more of a wild look. It suited him, to say the least.

Tight steel-grey denim hugged his legs, complete with common converse shoes. The white laces hidden somewhere under the tongue of the shoe. Eren looked a million bucks, though Levi refused to admit it aloud. For a screw-up like him, Levi was almost convinced it had taken magic or Cinderella's fairy godmother to make this stunt happen.

"Eren! You're on in just a few minutes, hurry up!" Eren and Levi's eyes shifted over to a tall man with scary eyes and a bald head, holding a stack of paper's over his head. He waved them around angrily, before disappearing behind the grey curtains. _What was with this place and grey? _

Eren jumped down from his little post surrounded with mirrors, smiling to the girl with pigtails, and raven hair. She gave him a quick thumbs up, ushering the boy towards the curtain. He barley caught the microphone tossed at him, inhaling in a rush to catch it. He took a deep breath before disappearing behind the curtains. Leaving Levi alone with people he didn't know, in a place he had no idea where it was.

_You fucking piece of shit._

A chorus of cheers broke out in the room, causing Levi to jump, people had huddled around a large flat-screen TV, on it was a stage, like you'd see on those music performance shows. Eren appeared, making the crowd scream and cry at his arrival.

_Who knew this brat was famous_.

Eren jogged out onto stage, ignoring the blinding lights that shone on his face. He waved to the crowd, holding a microphone to his mouth. "Alright! Quiet down!" He hollered, waiting for the crowd to settle. He backed away, standing at the back of the stage. A deep percussion began playing, and the performance began.

_' Everybody's always talking at me, everybody's trying to get in my head...'_

_I wanna listen to my own heart talking, I need to count on myself instead.'_

Eren's microphone had been forgotten, his hands finding a way onto his ears, running up into his sloppy hair. A clap erupted from the crowd, Eren indulging the act by clapping himself, a smile ghosting his face as the camera perspectives changed.

_'Did you ever... lose yourself to get what you want?_

_Did you ever.. get on a ride then wanna get off?_

_Did you ever... push away the ones you shoulda' held close?_

_Did you ever let go, did you ever not know?'_

The beat hit full-blast, and Eren strut forward, enforcing excitement. The crowd went absolutely bat-shit, screaming and cheering.

_'I'm not gunna stop, that's who I am!_

_I'll give it all I got, that is my plan!_

_Will I find what I lost? You know you can bet on it, bet on it, bet on it_

_bet on me!_

_I'm gunna make it right, that is the way!_

_To turn my life around, today is the day!_

_Am I the type of guy who means what I say?_

_Bet on it, bet on it, bet on it, bet on it!'_

Levi found himself entranced by Eren's performance, he executed the right stunts at the perfect time, Using the space the stage offered him.

_'How will I know if there's a path worth taking? Should I question every move I make?_

_Thought I lost my heart and it's breaking, I don't wanna make the same mistake...'_

_The claps began again, Eren joining without hesitation._

_'Did you ever doubt your dreams would ever come true? _

_Did you ever blame the ones that never blame you?_

_Don't you ever, try to live a lie again, I dont wanna win this game if I can't play it my way!'_

The chorus began again, the camera's changed, showing Eren's flawless back as the shirt lifted with the quick movements he made. Levi hated to admit it, but the kid had a nice ass, and by nice, he meant damn fine ass.

As the chorus ended, the song hit a new verse, the exciting beat dropping, building up to the main climax.

'Ho, hold up.' Eren stopped mid-walk, holding up a hand. He turned to look at the side, catching the camera before looking back at the crowd. He began backing away, slowly, but surely.

_'Give me room to think, we goin now!_

_Gotta work on my slang, gotta do my own thing!'_

His leisurely backing-away paused, and Eren turned towards the camera. Levi found himself on the edge of his seat, waiting.

'It's no good at all, seeing yourself, and not recognize your face.' His emerald eyes glimmered, showing true acting behind the lyrics of his song.

_'Out on my own, it's such a scary place...ooo~_

_The answers are all... inside of mee~_

_All I gotta do... is believe!'_

The beat began picking up, and so did Eren, a bounce appeared in his step, as he strut forward, earning a loud cheer from his audience.

_'Im not, gunna stop, not gunna stop 'til I get my shot._

_'That's who I am, that's my plan will I end up on top?_

_You can bet on it, bet on it, bet on it, bet on me!'_

A grin appeared on his face, the camera switching to front and center. He stopped at the edge of the stage, skillfully dodging hands while evaluating his last moves.

'You can bet on me!' And like it had started, it ended. A loud cheer erupted from the room, making Levi cringe. He can't hear you, fucksticks.

Levi noticed the crowd shuffling over, anticipating the return of the star. Like a couple lionesses waiting for the perfect time to pursue their prey.

As Levi had predicted, as soon as that brown mop of hair and tan skin appeared, the group was smothering him to no end. Many compliments were thrown at the boy, and many strings of cusses were spewed back at the crew for their obsessive crowding.

Levi stumbled up off the comfortable couch, stretching his soar muscles. He stalked off towards the door with the sign labeled 'EXIT' though he knew he'd gotten here through Eren and the group. Speaking of which, _where were they?_

'Probably drunk off their asses.' Levi snorted, shoving the heavy-weight door aside to step out into the darkness. The only light was a small back-door light, and a few road-lights dotted across the small parking lot. Levi shuffled around in his pockets for his phone and cigarettes. Yes, he smoked.

_3 missed calls from Erwin, 7 missed calls from Hangi. Shit. What in the ever-loving hell do they want_? Levi fought off a headache, rubbing the bridge of his nose once his phone was back in his pocket.

The sound of the metal door screeching open brought Levi's attention to the boy standing there. Green eyes almost glowing in the dim light. "Uhh, Levi? You smoke?" _Those were his first words? Not Need a ride? I'm sorry, or even a fucking explanation. No. _

"Quick! Take him to the eye doctor! He cans see!" Levi spat, taking a long drag from the burning cigarette. Eren frowned upon his negative attitude, checking his pockets for something. He pulled out some keys, looking back at Levi.

"Uhm, wanna ride home?" Eren asked, sheepishly. "No, I was planning on walking." Levi shrugged sarcastically, glaring daggers at Eren. _That's right, pay the price for dragging me here you little shit. _Eren sighed, pointing to the truck parked in the corner under a street-light. "Well, sor-ry, for ruining your night." He grumbled, trudging towards the vehicle.

Levi followed closely, climbing in on the other side as soon as the doors were unlocked. He buckled up and waited for Eren to start the engine, watching as the boy shivered and fumbled with the keys in the dark. He rolled his eyes, pulling out his phone.

The phone was lucky to come with a flashlight, and he quicky flicked the screen up and turned it on, eliciting a flinch from Eren. "Thanks..." He muttered, finding the key and starting the engine. With everything okay, Levi sat back in his seat, trying to ignore the pounding headache he had from music and annoying 'friends' calling him way too fucking much.

"Look, Levi, I'm sorry for getting you all caught up in this, haha... It was my idea, the other's are back home, I should have sent you with them. You'd have been safer..." Eren apologized, looking down at his white knuckles clutching the steering wheel.

'What the fuck do you mean, brat?" Levi huffed, crossing his arms.

"Nothing, never mind, let's just go."

"Fine with me."

"Okay."


	4. Chapter 4

**First person POV from Eren haha let's watch me fail w !**

**Anyway sorry ive been so lazy ive been dealing with a lotta shitty shits. Sooo, hopefully I'll be getting on the road with **_**Round and round we go**_** as well as **_**Chained.**_

**I love u all for waiting seriously I could cry thanks sooooooo much /kudos !**

**Warning: there will be erenx? Mystery man ooo so if u don't like eren with anyone else well shit this chapter miiight not be for you it has smutty smut between a guilty eren and a hot person hehe I feel bad about not feeling bad o*o**

**xxx**

It's been almost 5 years since I thought about him. He broke my heart by sleeping with another man, and denying it, standing stark naked in front of me, his other lover still in bed.

He was the one who got me hooked into singing, and though I'd never admit it aloud, he was the reason I still sang, hoping he'd come back. To love me and only me again. And maybe, just maybe I'd be worth him then.

He's the reason I hate Jean, why I hate that jackass with every blood cell in my body. Jean took him from me, right under my nose. He stole my love away, and didn't give back. He didn't realize either. He never pieced together his supposed _boyfriend's _past relationships.

I couldn't decide. Should I go back? Or should I go back to the dorm, curl up and bed and forget about all those moments. It was futile, either way the burning at the back of my eyes, and the pull in my chest wouldn't stop.

My time to think was cutting close, the parking lot was just a couple blocks from where we were now, and I'd almost completely forgot about Levi sitting quietly in the passenger seat.

"I'm just going to drop you off, I'm going out to mean someone." I tried to make my voice sound even, glancing over at the contracting male.

"Whatever." He muttered, why'd I tell him anyway? Like he'd give a fuck.

I pulled into the parking lot, taking the liberty of pulling right up to the front doors, but Levi swung the door open and jumped out before the car even stopped, almost jogging inside.

"Levi!" I yelled, but it was muted by the door slamming in my face. I sighed, my breath shaky. Why was I getting so worked up? Levi was just my roommate, we weren't even friends.

I set my forehead on the steering wheel, taking another relaxing breath, but it caught in my throat and I felt the warmth pour from my eyes.

I sat with the ignition running for about 15 minutes, quietly sobbing. I managed to pull myself together, noticing my current parking spot was illegal and the last thing I needed was a ticket to haunt me.

I'd ended up crying for about an hour, but either way, it didn't really matter. I had still cried, which was a new one. I usually only cried when I had a bad dream I didn't even remember, and Mikasa had to tell me I was crying.

We'd been sitting in the fields after playing over the hills. I'd fallen asleep against a tree, and when I woke up, Mikasa was leaning over me. She told me it was time to go home, since it was getting late.

"Why are you crying?" I looked at her confused, reaching to touch the tears in my eyes, why was I crying? I couldn't even remember my dream.

But here I was, crying over a sadistic fucktard who'd I only met yesterday, and why, was still unbeknownst to me.

I was pretty sure my ex-boyfriend still lived in the same house, since he moved out early as a kid. He'd been such a sweetheart, with a great smile and a big heart. But he grew up and joined the military, he'd lost his eye and damaged most of his arm in a war.

He came back different, and that's when I fell hard. His new exterior was to die for, and his brute personality had me at my feet, begging him to give me everything.

It was sickening, that'd I'd been so submissive to such an asshole, but I'm not the one to talk. Seeing as I was pulling into his driveway.

I silently hoped he'd moved, or wasn't home so I could go home and pretend like nothing happened. Lie to Levi that I went to the bookstore to check for a new release, but it ended up not in or something like that. He wouldn't question me.

I fixed my shirt, running a hand through my hair. I pressed the doorbell, listening to the muffled tune echo. My stomach did flips, and I shifted from foot to foot, glancing around.

His garden was still as beautiful as ever, the flowers blooming. I imagined a scary man like him watering the flowers with a pleasant smile on his face, it made me want to laugh at the irony.

The door knob jiggled, and my head snapped back to see the door swing open. I unconsciously took a step back, looking up at the tall, handsome man before me.

He hadn't changed, and my break was taken away staring at him. He had no shirt on, showing his totally hard six-pack which made my heartbeat speed up.

He had dark raven jeans that hung low on his hips, but hugged him in all the right places, and I resisted the urge to lean behind him.

My teeth found my lip as I looked up at his face, he had a strong jaw and a black eye patch over his eye. He still had a dazzling smile that sent shivers of desire down my spine.

"Eren, it's been so long! What're you doing here?" I could hear the gruff edge in his voice, with the sultry purr that made my insides melt.

"H-hi Marco."

xxx

oOOOOOOoOooOoOOooo if u didn't guess that somewhere near the middle im ashamed of u I dropped a lotta hints lol xD

im working on the next chapter tonight, soo it'll most likely be all kinds of smut, you can skip it if u want, you'll only miss a little nostalgic backstory about eren eue


	5. Chapter 5

**Yeah im not sorry.**

**xxx**

"_H-Hi Marco."_

He looked absolutely stunning, and I almost fell flat face-first when he invited me inside. His strong arms wrapped around my arm and I blushed immediately, but there was this shadow in the back of my mind, making me feel guilty for what I was doing.

I ignored it.

"You redecorated." I commented bluntly, looking at all the new furniture. It was so much more welcome than what it used to, the old furniture had memories of endless nights we laid together talking about sweet nothings.

He seemed to sense where I was coming from and avoided the topic.

"Uh, yeah, I thought the old look was starting to get boring, not to mention a lot of nostalgia." He laughed nervously.

"Oh yeah, because you stilled lived here with all those memories." I bitterly snapped back, running my finger over the chair in the entrance hallway, not looking back at him.

He laughed, but I could hear the frustration edging into his voice. It was only so long until he snapped.

"So, what brings you here?"

I sucked in a deep breath, turning to face him. The best way was always to be blunt, not to sugar coat it.

"I want to get back together." I said, my voice raising in a rush to get it out. He looked shocked, but it passed and he smiled. It made the blood rush south. God I was disgusting.

"Come, sit with me." He muttered, pushing past me onto the couch, I followed him, sinking into the sofa next to him. I kept my distance, but he took action to pull us together.

My head rested on his chest, and my arms wrapped around his torso, feeling his side muscles unconsciously. He patted my head, and I sighed. It was so wrong for me to be here, but I wanted it so badly.

"Are you sure?" He asked quietly, and I breathed a quiet response. My answer betrayed my thoughts, but I couldn't care less.

I looked up at him, taking in his features before pressing my lips to his. It was a quick kiss, chaste and sweet.

He tasted the same, amazing but the same. I leaned towards him, going in for a more passionate kiss. Our lips smashed together sloppily, but neither cared.

His tongue ran slowly across my bottle lip, making me shiver. I subconsciously opened my mouth, immediately letting him take control. He pulled my into his lap, one hand fisting my hair roughly, the other following my spine down to my ass.

I groaned slightly as he pulled back on my hair, his mouth targeting my jawline. His teeth scraped at the bone, his hot breath sending chills on my wet skin. He followed my jawline to my ear, licking underneath the lop before trailing down.

This is why I loved him, he knew just how to make you whimper. I grunted, snaking my hands up his chest, teasing him by barley passing his nipples, which earned me a grunt. I loved it; his voice was so amazing. But no matter, I still felt a tug at my heart that wasn't good. The guilt was building, but I wasn't giving in.

His teeth caught my collarbone and I took a sharp intake of breath, he bit hard; leaving a mark, before nursing the bruising area with his tongue.

I adjusted to better straddle his waist, pressing myself against him, I wanted to grind against him, but his hands kept me still as he kneaded my ass. My arms wrapped around his neck, tracing his defined shoulder blades and strong upper back.

I breathed deep when his hand snaked up my back, pressing against my lower back. He trailed his lips down to my shirt collar, tugging at it with his teeth before ripping it up and over my head, I didn't care.

My back arched towards him, and I basically bent backwards as he flicked his tongue over my nipple, I moaned loudly, not even caring who would hear. He pulled me against him by my hair, and the pain jolting through my body was exhilarating.

Our mouths smashed against each other again, and I felt his fingers train downwards, hooking under my tight jeans. I groaned a 'yes' pressing my couch more towards him.

He chuckled, and I felt a little frustrated, playing into his hands. He unbuttoned it slowly, unzipping them and slowly, teasingly pulling them down.

I almost screamed, throwing them off myself. I really hated that about him, yet I loved it so much. He shuffled me off his lap to take off his own pants, it was a bit awkward to be honest, but I was too clouded with lust to care.

As soon as he sat back down I was back on him, kissing furiously, asking for attention. I rubbed by crotch against his, groaning wantonly against his mouth. He grunted back at me, his hands sliding around my waist.

"Do you still sing, Eren?" He asked me, I could hear the strain in his voice, and it was totally hot.

"Yes." My voice sounded rugged, but I didn't care.

"Good, because I want to hear you at your loudest."

God damnit. God damn Marco. God damn my life. Why was he so perfect? So good at what he did, yet so horribly imperfect and flawed?

His hand was at my crotch faster than I knew what was going on, I moaned, bucking my hips towards him, but he caught my hips, pulling me back. I grunted in annoyance.

He rubbed the obvious tent in my underwear, not taking long before stripping me of the last of my clothing. Along with his.

He knew what I liked.

His finger found my ass, digging in almost instantly. I gasped, my back arching. He finger-fucked me, before adding a second, scissoring the muscle. He had bulky-ish fingers, but nothing unattractive. But it was nothing compared to his actual length.

He added a third, bending and searching. I knew what he was looking for, and I desperately wanted him to find it.

When he did, I moaned loudly, seeing stars. I rutted back against his fingers, panting loudly.

"You're really excited, Eren. Why?" He asked, his breath on my ear. I groaned.

"Fuck, Marco. Stop. Fuck me, god damnit. Why do you do that it's so fucking annoying."

"Don't lie, you think it's hot."

"Okay it's really hot."

Marco laughed, I sighed. He sat back and I shifted, his hands finding my ass. He pressed the tip against the muscle ring gently, pushing in slowly. I groaned, he stopped.

With the tip just in, he sat there for a second, waiting for me. I wanted to scream at him, and that's what he wanted.

"Fuck me _hard._" I groaned, catching his lips with mine, he obeyed. With a quick movement, he buckled his hips, plunging roughly inside me. I screamed, it hurt so fucking bad. And I was disgusting enough to love it.

Tears filled my eyes, spilling over, he pulled almost completely out before slamming back in, leaving no mercy. Just how I liked it.

Eventually pain was replaced with pleasure, and I was moaning like a whore, but neither of us cared how loud it was. All my thoughts had left me, all that mattered was Marco.

He pumped my neglected dick, fingers tracing shapes and other things kinkily on it, I fucking loved it. We had no rhythm, we never did. It was rough and quick. Just like that, and we ended up doing it 3 or 4 times a night when we did get into it. Not that we _did _do it _every_ night.

We remained like that, the heat and pleasure built in the pit on my stomach, I straightened my back, groaning as I felt the climax coming on.

With a loud moan I came all over his stomach, and he followed in suit, coating my insides in a hot sticky liquid. I couldn't care what mess it made.

We went limp after heaven sent us back down to earth. Both our breaths were ragged, and I loved the sound of it. I sighed, sitting up eventually on his chest. We were both covered in sweat.

Marco looked content, and it made me feel sick. Not his happiness, what I'd done. I was a horrible fucking person. I pulled away from him, pulling my underwear on.

"I'm going to go clean up." I muttered, basically darting upstairs. I didn't want to look at him. I couldn't. I retreated into the bathroom, locking the door. I dropped to my knees, flipping the seat up.

I puked mostly stomach acid, it burned my throat, making my eyes water. I sighed, washing out my mouth with mouth wash and water, before getting in the shower.

I ignored the liquid draining down my leg, my forehead against the tile walls. My mind was swarming, and I still felt sick. Why? I didn't even fucking know.

I got washed, got dressed and talked with Marco for a while. He'd showered too and made some ramen. We sat on the couch chatting while I ate ramen.

He seemed to understand what I was talking about, when I told him about Levi and what a jerk he was. But when I talked shit, it left a bitter taste in my mouth. I blamed the food.

With a clank of the bowl, I looked down, no longer hungry.

"What's wrong?" Marco asked, looking over at me, an eyebrow raised.

"Mom died, and Dad is classified missing. Probably dead." Eren said quietly. Closing his eyes. He and his dad had been close enough, and it hurt when he never came home.

Marco's arm wrapped around me, and I couldn't feel safe in them, the same cold, lonely feeling brimmed my heart, and I sat limply in his arms, too numb to cry.

"Eren, I'm sorry." He murmured.

"Don't be, you couldn't have done anything. No one could have." I pushed him away, getting up. I thanked my bowl for being there as I put it away and waited in the kitchen. I sighed.

"I'm gonna go, Levi's probably wondering where the fuck I am." I announced, Marco met me by the door, much to my surprise. Smiling warmly.

I avoided kissing his mouth, but accepted a kiss on the cheek, waving goodbye before I retreated to my truck.

A bit quicker than I should have, started the truck and drove off. I needed to get away, I didn't care about speeding. I didn't care about a lot of things lately.

I searched the seat for my phone, ignoring the messages from Sasha and Connie. Hitting speed dial. A male voice picked up on the third ring, sounding a bit alarmed.

"Armin, I went back." I gripped his wheel, slamming on the breaks when my mind regsitered there was a red light. I sighed, Adeline kicking in.

"Oh my god, Eren. You didn't…"

"I did."

I could hear shuffling, and a door shutting.

"Meet me by the park, we need to have a talk." Armin said, rushing to his car. I held back tears, my stomach was turning again.

"Okay…"

The call ended.

I felt like shit, turning at the stoplight to go to the park, my hands shook. I ended up waiting in my car, afraid to face the world.

Armin joined me in the car, looking concerned. He was out of breath, and his hair was tied back. Glasses framing his nose. It was a good look for him, but I didn't have time to ponder that.

"I didn't, I wasn't thinking." I blurted, looking at the steering wheel.

Armin sighed, whispering. _'I know.' _He pulled my head against his chest, letting me cry for real. Letting me cry my heart out, all the pain I didn't get out earlier.

I ended up crying twice today. It'd been a shitty day, and I didn't want to go home. I stayed at Armin's house, receiving the best care I could ask for.

I wasn't good enough for Armin, for anyone. But he would deny it, so I kept quiet. I fell asleep alright that night, but Levi plagued my dreams, and by morning. Yesterday was a fairy tale.

**xxx **

**im a piece of shit.**


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